How To Revive The Passion & Excitement In Your Relationship

Dan Dore Author

Facing a relationship challenge? Learn how to reignite passion with strength and determination in this guide.

You may be facing a difficult and upsetting challenge right now. You want a deeper, more passionate connection with your girlfriend or wife but when you make attempts to connect with her intimately, you get rejected, criticised or shut down in some way. 

Ouch! I know very well how painful that experience is.  After a while of receiving this kind of response, most men I speak to give up and either live unhappily or go and get their connection needs met elsewhere.

The prospect of being criticised or rejected is the fear point that most of us back away from, but there is only ONE way to conquer scary stuff and that’s to walk right into it – over and over again until we learn there’s nothing to be scared of.

It's annoying, but it's true that every challenge is an opportunity to learn, grow, improve and showcase your strength and resilience. 

In this extensive guide, you're going to learn how to navigate these difficulties with unwavering strength and determination. 

We'll walk through the steps together, exploring real-life examples to illustrate how you can transform your confidence in yourself and your ability to revive her desire and excitement for your relationship.

An Exciting Life Equals An Exciting Sex Life

It's counter intuitive but building an exciting life outside the bedroom is an important part of exciting sex in the bedroom. 

Women are attracted to strength in men in a million different little ways and this is one of those areas where you can demonstrate your strength of character.

When you create an exciting life for yourself, you show her that you are a man who knows he has agency over his life, you show her that you're willing and able to take control of your life, transforming it for the better, leading with confidence. 

Have an Adventure

Making plans to bring more excitement and adventure into your life takes courage, and it's a great opportunity for you to show your masculine strength. It's about confronting your fears, embracing challenges, and showing your resilience. 

Embracing New Activities

Imagine this: You decide to take up rock climbing, something you've never tried before. Your wife might initially react like you've lost your mind, but when you don't back down or get discouraged by her reaction, she can feel part of your strength, courage and fearless spirit. 

One of my clients, John, was in his mid-thirties and was feeling uninspired by his life, his career and his relationship, he needed an injection of something interesting that challenged him to grow, so he decided to face his fears of heights by taking up skydiving, an activity that scared him to death. 

As you can imagine, his wife initially laughed and told him he was crazy, but when she saw him being courageous and facing something that he was terrified of, she was intrigued and that intrigue started to show up as more questions, more affection and overall more connection between them in their intimate life - she said she felt attracted to his renewed enthusiasm and excitement, he was choosing to be creative with his life again.

Conquering Challenges

Now, picture this: You set yourself a challenge, perhaps something as simple as researching a new hobby or mastering a skill you've been mediocre at for years (guitar playing anyone?....just me then). 

Your ability to conquer these challenges is a testament to your courage, your determination, and the strength of your character as a man - hot!

Your Hobbies

Your hobbies are your playground, a place to practice and explore and your passion for them reveals another part of your masculine strength. 

When you enthusiastically and wholeheartedly engage in activities that truly captivate you, motivate you and inspire you, your authentic passion for life is plain for everyone to see and because you're taking action and not just sitting around waiting for life to magically become fun, it also demonstrates another attribute of your strength of character - resilience. 

The more you choose to act and be deliberate in moving your life forward no matter how small the action is, you gradually build a stronger sense of self-confidence and self-esteem - you learn that you can trust yourself to be the creator of your life again - and that self trust and self belief is magnetically attractive to the women in your life.

Spend Time With Other Men

Whether it's getting physically fit, working on a project together, having fun with kids in tow, or discussing real life issues honestly and vulnerably together, building relationships with other men is crucial to building and demonstrating your own masculine strength and character. 

These good, strong relationships with other high-quality, initiated men, will challenge you and support you and hold you accountable to improving yourself and improving the life you want to enjoy. The natural benefit of these relationships is that your confidence in who you are as a man changes, you start believing in yourself more, you start leading the passionate and intimate parts of your relationship to be deeper and more fulfilling.

It's a lot of fun !  :)

Face Challenges and Utilise Accountability

Imagine this: You decide you want to improve your health...it's a challenge and it's a commitment, you're putting your strength to the test by pushing your limits.

If you decide to do it alone you have to be responsible for researching, planning and following through on making it happen. If you connect with some other men working on the same goals, they will help motivate you on the days you want to make excuses, they will help you push yourself a little harder than you might otherwise, they will hold you accountable for the goals you've said you want to achieve - ultimately they will help you be consistent and focused.

Another client of mine, Steve, was in his late forties and noticed that he was dealing with recurring back pain and that when doing anything that required some physical exertion he was starting to get out of breath very quickly - he even mentioned that he was grunting and groaning a little when getting up out of a chair or bending down to out on his shoes - he felt like old age was creeping up on him and he wasn't ready for that!  

So he decided to do something about it and so he contacted a local group of men who invited him to come and try their training sessions. 

It wasn't easy, he was intimidated, especially as in his head they would all be super fit and he'd be the only one struggling, but he found that the other guys were at a range of different fitness levels and that they were all very encouraging about his goals and willingness to try.

Because he took action, he showed himself that he was strong, his masculine strength was more about committing to improve as a man in this way and taking on a challenge. 

The camaraderie and competition at the gym spurred him on in other areas of life too. Yes, he felt better about himself as he became physically stronger and his body became more fit, but the bigger change was that he felt mentally stronger and his emotions seemed to be more relaxed, more calm and more under control. 

And without any focus on trying to negotiate and improve the passion and intimacy in his relationship, his wife felt his strength of character, she noticed his dedication and newfound confidence, and it reignited a passion in her to feel more of that from him.

What About Testosterone? 

Your strength as a man is intrinsically linked to your testosterone levels. Being around other men, creating a vision for your future, aiming for specific goals in life, sharing the struggles, and celebrating victories naturally elevates your testosterone. 

This increased testosterone not only makes you mentally, emotionally and physically stronger but it also subtly makes you more appealing to your partner.

Connection Needs

The bonds you form with other quality men that you respect are a reflection of your social value and your ability to connect with other people - another sign of your masculine strength. 

When you have many places in your life that you can go to connect with other people, relax, have fun, maybe work on some shared goals or projects, you feel more fulfilled, more cared about, more appreciated and happier. 

It's another kind of strength that women appreciate seeing and feeling in us.

Keep Up A Social Life Of Your Own

"Women love to see the twinkle of passion for life in a man's eye, but they don't want to be the sole source of that twinkle - it's too much pressure for them to sustain."

Keeping an active social calendar where you feed and build your friendships as well as making sure you have a good balance of time for your romantic relationship too is another way of displaying strength - this time it's emotional intelligence and caring. 

Men who don't have a good social network can find themselves feeling depressed, lacking confidence and becoming over reliant on their romantic partner for all their emotional and intimate connection needs which ends up pushing her away.

Creating More Support & Fun In Your Life

Imagine this: You decide you need a more active social life and more male friends. by taking action to start making this happen in your life you're again demonstrating your mental and emotional strength, your self awareness and your agency to create the life you want - plus you end up with more people in your life who naturally introduce more opportunities to grow and experience new things together.

Alex, was a client of mine in his late thirties who recognized that he was getting frustrated by his wife's negative view of him, he kept getting upset about the tiniest little pieces of feedback she would give him about unimportant events and tasks. He didn't realise that every one of those interactions with his wife was an opportunity for him to show and her to feel his masculine self belief and strength. 

He started building a better balance of social, work and home life, he made the effort to spend quality time with his friends and setup opportunities to spend time with other men who inspired him. 

Again, this was met initially with resistance from his wife, who worried he would neglect their relationship. But that didn't happen.

As Alex became more intentional about spending time with other men and friends, he also became more intentional about spending good quality time with her and their children too.

See how this works?

When you develop a part of your character in one area of your life, you can help but develop it in the other areas of your life too!

As Alex's wife watched the changes in him, including him being more relaxed, more patient, happier and more excited about his life, she felt her respect and attraction to him growing again and the passion started returning to their intimate life again.

Expand Your Social Circle

If your social circle has dwindled, don't give up, I know it can be daunting but it's an opportunity to stretch yourself, to expand, to learn new things and to showcase your masculine strength.

It takes courage to approach new people and to try new things, many people find it too anxiety inducing, but with the support and help of a coach, many of my clients have navigated these fears and created a much more fun and fulfilling life.

Becoming a Better Husband and Friend

Your journey to embracing your masculine energy and building a better social life and support network also makes you a better husband. 

As I've shown above, initially your wife might not be supportive, but as she experiences the changes in you, how you feel about yourself, how you learn to enjoy life more and trust yourself more, she will enjoy feeling this new you and feeling your strength as a man.

When you intentionally go about creating a happier, more exciting, and more fulfilling life, you become a more attractive version of you.

You can't do it to "make" someone be attracted to you, but when you honestly create a better life, you feel better and people enjoy being around you more.

The Power of Transformation

One final story about my client Mark, who was facing a tipping point in his marriage. He wanted to give up and run away from the constant negativity and feeling like he was treading on eggshells around his wife. 

But he didn't give in to despair, instead he chose to try and improve himself first, he chose to test his own mental and emotional strength - he knew something needed to change and before he decided to move on he wanted to know that he had tried everything in his power to improve things..

Key Takeaways

The path to reigniting passion in your relationship is not an easy one. It takes strength, courage, and determination. But remember, challenges are opportunities for growth. 

Every time you face a challenge, you're building and demonstrating your masculine strength.

On this journey you will experience a wide range of expeirences.

It's an adventure where you become stronger physically, mentally and emotionally.

You'll not only rekindle the passion in your intimate relationship but also become a better, more passionate, more happy and more complete version of yourself. 

Are you ready to embark on this journey and show the world - and yourself - just how strong you are?

Book a  free 30 minute coaching session with us today.

We can't wait to meet you and support you to become the best man you can be.

Categories: : attraction, confidence, desire, passion, polarity